Monday, December 27, 2004
I can try to pretend, I can try to forget
But it's driving me mad, going out of my head
zhenluan @ Monday, December 27, 2004
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Monday, December 20, 2004
i've never felt so lousy b4... well guess this will be the 1st time ever to get a taste of it. i dunno wad will happen next...i just pray for the best. i think this will be quite a big blow to me...i just realised. perhaps it is a bit too late. there is no way i am able to face them...or myself. simply no way. guess everything will change? i'am not sure. juz wanna say i'am sorry.
guess it's time for a reality check.
zhenluan @ Monday, December 20, 2004
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Tuesday, December 14, 2004
it's really ironic how ppl always regret their actions. up till now i still live haunted by the past. maybe its cuz of the hols, simply too free. nothing to do. rot n rot. nv use my brain. may be busy. but not busy enough to stop me from thinking. guess it must be my bloody character. i dun forget such things.
seriously. the "silence" now really makes me wonder. was it worth it? why did i do it when i knew that it was wrong in the 1st place? perhaps the "silence" now is really sumthing good. i shld have guessed that sooner or later there has to be an end. i am not like shin. so optimisstic. i expected such an outcome. however i did not expect how my reaction will be. will be i able to "adapt"? it's all just a state of the mind i tell myself. but am i able to listen to myself?
feel so angry. at myself.
it's all just a state of the mind.
zhenluan @ Tuesday, December 14, 2004
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Friday, December 10, 2004
came back form sdc yesterday... slept like a pig... came home slept until 6.30 then from 8 slept until 9 this morning... haha... on the bus i also slept n missed my stop... sdc was considerably fun... except sleeping in tents with such a HORRIBLE tent mate... learnt a lot of things and lessons during sdc.... my grpmates were nice too.. haha... and CEDAR RAWKS man... and to evelyn... dun be too sad ya.. sure u will join us nxt time n we must make sure we get for the nxt 2 yrs isit? haha ya...
juz now looked at shin's blog... saw tt song my immortal... one of fav songs.. haha.. love the lyrics... yet seeing it again makes my heart aches... reminded me so.. haix..
zhenluan @ Friday, December 10, 2004
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